Your Tongue is Wet · 18 October 2001
I am of late – for the first time, and possibly the last – finding myself engaged in the most enjoyable pastime of teaching French children how to swear in English. Of course all children come equipped with a threshhold of gullibility, and by any measure it is low, low behaviour for an adult to take advantage of this eagerness to learn, in any language. Nonetheless I hope that some time in the future one of them will have opportunity, when called out or sassed upon an English-speaking street, to shoot back with one of my recommended rejoinders, such as Suck my pants! or You smell like celery root!
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