Gene · 12 March 2002
It has arrived. Many thanks to Liza Grindlay – who many years ago shoved a Replacements tape into my face and yelled, ‘Side TWO!’ – for sending a copy.
Let’s open a random page:
I didn’t have very specific tastes in women. If they were female, and in my presence, I was interested. During that tour, though, I surprised even myself. In a conservative town in the deep south, we had a limo driver who must have been in her sixties. She was a full-figured gal in a chauffer’s hat and uniform. I kept calling her Grandma, and she kept calling me Sonny. I must have been twenty-five, twenty-six maybe. The next day at about eight in the morning, there was a knock on the door.
‘Who is it?’
‘Open up, Sonny. It’s Grandma.’
‘What time is it?’
‘Eight A.M.’
‘I thought we weren’t leaving until ten.’
‘You’re not. Open the door, Sonny.’ So she came in, and we were all over the floor, the bed, everywhere else in the room. And so help me God, in the limo on the way to the airport, the other guys were looking at me because I must have smelled like a lobster. I wasn’t saying a word.
* * *