Interactivity · 10 October 2002

For quite practical (that is to say, not frivolous or completely dunderheaded) reasons, much of today was spent combing through old PHP, folding some layabout code into the Textism Publishing Engine (codenamed Textpattern), in particular the commenting system that ran here sporadically last year. Back then it was duct tape and baling wire holding it together; now the various bits have been streamlined into something resembling a cohesive whole, albeit one assembled by zealous bureaucrats on an encounter weekend – all flipcharts, Nerf Bats and tears.

One big accomplishment of the day was figuring out how to prevent the resubmission of form data when a window is refreshed/reloaded. Figuring this out brought much joyful relief; so much so that I flung open the windows, inhaled deeply, hunched over, and played air guitar for thirty seconds.

Anyway, it (the commenting thing) needs to be tested out, and this is where you come in. Complete, if you would, the following assertion:

*   *   *

  1. People who critisize designer's work, without the slikk or expirence to do so, should be tollerated, only so much, because, while it may seem easy to them, design can be damned difficult.
    — John Newman    Oct 10, 07:00 PM    #
  2. blog, flogged, they're doggs
    — Chris    Oct 10, 07:20 PM    #
  3. People who use Netscape Navigator 4.x should be (chided, laughed at, ignored, shown the folly of their ways, taken off your Christmas list, forced to listen to Barry Manilow, etc.), because it sucks.
    — Nathaniel Riethmann    Oct 10, 07:21 PM    #
  4. People who play Mad Libs should be second guessed, because folks who supply answers when they don't understand the question are hopelessly blank.
    — Zesmerelda    Oct 10, 07:22 PM    #
  5. People who fart silently but deadly should be called out publicly because silent farts smell far worse than audible farts.
    — blurbedintooblivion    Oct 10, 07:39 PM    #
  6. People... who? Public should be slaughtered. Because? Nothing.
    — Brandon    Oct 10, 07:39 PM    #
  7. People who have hairy backs should be forced to keep their shirt on at the beach, because others would like to stomach their lunch.
    — Ryan Carter    Oct 10, 07:39 PM    #
  8. People who kiss should be kissed back, and again a second time (just to be sure neither of you were dreaming), because you never know when you'll get your next kiss, and neither do they.
    — Austin    Oct 10, 07:40 PM    #
  9. People who think they are clever should be self-disciplined because they are otherwise likely to go on and on and on and on. Forever. And so on. Yes.
    — Justin    Oct 10, 07:46 PM    #
  10. People who are made of purple should be made of purple, because they are made of purple.
    — Blinky McDaniels    Oct 10, 07:52 PM    #
  11. People who force comments to open in new windows should be shot^H^H^H^H gently reminded of the error of their ways, because target="_blank" is so 20th century and they are better than that.
    — Mark Pilgrim    Oct 10, 08:00 PM    #
  12. People who write funky Javascript redirects should test their work in Opera, because its scripting support sucks but it has rabidly loyal fans.
    — Mark Pilgrim    Oct 10, 08:02 PM    #
  13. In no particular order, my answers are: read captive stochastic
    — Brian    Oct 10, 08:02 PM    #
  14. People who post shit on strangers' web sites should be suspended by their shoelaces from the London Eye for a week or so because posting shit is not a very nice thing to do. It isn't. My son posted shit on the bathroom wall at school. He didn't get suspended by his shoelaces from the London Eye, but I told him that he should have been. I'm serious. String him up there for a week. He'd learn some respect then. There's no way he'd post shit anywhere again if he was strung up by his shoelaces from the London Eye for a week or so.
    — SRH    Oct 10, 08:08 PM    #
  15. People who lack imagination (me, for instance) should be prevented from completing statements such as this because they add nothing to the discussion.
    — cmb    Oct 10, 08:11 PM    #
  16. People who piss into the wind should be shot because they are too stupid for words.
    — Ray    Oct 10, 08:20 PM    #
  17. People who malkovich should be malkovich, because malkovich.
    — Brian    Oct 10, 08:44 PM    #
  18. People who are lost should be left to wander, worry, and wait before they are found, because being lost provides great opportunities for contemplating direction, distance, and demise.
    — mbeall    Oct 10, 08:52 PM    #
  19. People who shave should exfoliate beforehand, because it makes the shaving that much more smooth and pleasant.
    — Dave    Oct 10, 08:52 PM    #
  20. ...do, ...not ...I don't
    — Barker    Oct 10, 09:17 PM    #
  21. People who act really mean should die, because that's my way.
    — kaiser    Oct 10, 09:18 PM    #
  22. people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them. George Bernard Shaw
    — Rich Carroll    Oct 10, 09:20 PM    #
  23. People who <i> should </i>. Because.
    — matt    Oct 10, 09:33 PM    #
  24. People who enjoyed the movie AI should be frozen because aliens might dig us up in 4,000 years, and they should be the ones to experience it.
    — britt    Oct 10, 09:34 PM    #
  25. People who know about such things should explain why this comment isn't displayed (at least not in IE5/Mac), because I'm damn curious.
    — matt    Oct 10, 09:47 PM    #
  26. People who read the internet should remember to blink occasionally, because otherwise their eyeballs get all dried out.
    — Mr. Velocipede    Oct 10, 10:02 PM    #
  27. people who come here just to glance at oliver should send him biscuits.
    — ms    Oct 10, 10:03 PM    #
  28. People who use empty unneccesary tags (think "<p>&#160;</p>) for layout, where css would be better should fix that, because, frankly, by now they should know better.
    — david    Oct 10, 10:38 PM    #
  29. People who can't read this comment should not feel left out, because I have no idea what it say's either...ie6PC.
    — Ray    Oct 10, 10:41 PM    #
  30. People who live in glass houses shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth because you can't make him drink.
    — Gulliver    Oct 10, 10:46 PM    #
  31. People who make nice little 'commenting things' like this should share the code with the rest of us because he's a wonderfully, warm, compassionate and loving human being who has a dog with no shame.
    — Ray ... again 8 )    Oct 10, 10:47 PM    #
  32. People who live in really cool places (like the south of France) should send bottles of fine wine to their faithful readers because ... because ... aaaaagh ... because .... well ... just because.
    — Ray ... I can't stop    Oct 10, 10:52 PM    #
  33. People who fart should carry around an extinguisher, because the carpet is in danger.
    — Roxanne    Oct 10, 10:53 PM    #
  34. People who are lucky enough (like me) to be in love with the woman of their dreams (my wife) should tell the world about it every once in awhile because it's like eating your wheaties...it's the right thing to do.
    — Ray ... last one...I promise ; |    Oct 10, 10:54 PM    #
  35. People who ___answer this assertion with anything other than platitudes and cliches and important sounding (while meaning nothing) blather___ should ___shut the fuck up. Oh and pack the fudge of the cunt who finds it rather droll to have visitors to his website play MadLibs. Nice to see you in the 21st century Mr. 1987.___ Because ___50% of everything is below average, and the bar isn't set that high, I'm constantly mad at everything because I'm above average and everything else should be too.___
    — Foo Fighter    Oct 10, 11:11 PM    #
  36. I like your website alot. You sound pretty smart. I wish I lived in France. I'd dirnk wine all the time. (Hey! that rimes! ;-) C-ya l8tr Did I answer your assertion?
    — Douglas J. Woods    Oct 10, 11:17 PM    #
  37. People who put in the url for their web site (like Foo Fighters url http://sanrio.com/) should take care to put the right url in or make sure their site is up and runnin' because if they don't, they come of looking like pissy little piss ants with nothing worth reading. WHAT, who said that'? ::
    — Poo Packer    Oct 10, 11:21 PM    #
  38. People who include hilarious little witty nuggets in their meta tags should be required by law to include a brief tutorial on their main page instructing newbies on methods and techniques employed to view source.
    — Stan    Oct 10, 11:48 PM    #
  39. people who are golden-boy morons like Bush should realize the limits of their pea-brains, and should resign immediately for leading our world closer to war and separateness, because the rest of us are frigging sick of his war drama.
    — terri    Oct 11, 12:56 AM    #
  40. People who consider self-flagellation both a political stance and an homage to a deity should wear a fucking sweater because the rest of us enjoy our dollar-store romance.
    — Muraii    Oct 11, 01:03 AM    #
  41. People who practice dentristy while wearing cheap toupees should be more considerate of their patients, because it is difficult not to laugh.
    — John Gruber    Oct 11, 01:28 AM    #
  42. People who enable comments on their website should reconsider such an action because most people are beyond help.
    — sjc    Oct 11, 02:04 AM    #
  43. people who love people should be considered the luckiest people, because loving half-human half-animal creatures is just plain wrong, any way you slice it. Really.
    — marc    Oct 11, 02:31 AM    #
  44. People who bother scrolling through 43+ comments in order to extol their own witticisms should get a fucking life, because this is exactly why George W. Bush is president.
    — Dr. Matt    Oct 11, 02:58 AM    #
  45. Please delete comment #44. Heh. Failing that, please kill me.
    — Dr. Matt    Oct 11, 03:01 AM    #
  46. People who can bake nummy cookies should bring some over to my house, because, damn, if I can't find any love maybe a little bit of sweet homemade goodness will work just as well.
    — des    Oct 11, 03:20 AM    #
  47. people who support GW should die because the world will be a better place without them.
    — nat    Oct 11, 03:38 AM    #
  48. People who need people (should be happy because they) are the luckiest people in the world.
    — Arthur Jennings    Oct 11, 03:39 AM    #
  49. People who aren't good should be good because it would be good - goodness!
    — Erwin    Oct 11, 03:42 AM    #
  50. people who piss me off should run a long way, because I am not nice when I am pissed off. So when is the world going to see this amazing Textpattern? My name at George, and I have no intention of stepping off.
    — stupid bint    Oct 11, 03:44 AM    #
  51. people who have a few dollars to spare should give them to me because if they don't either i'll stab them or they'll go to hell and burn for all eternity.
    — nick    Oct 11, 03:46 AM    #
  52. People who are killing time on the net when they are supposed to be working should be made to stay back after work, because it's exactly this kind of slacker mentality that is bringing down this great country of... ours... yours...someone's...
    — mcb    Oct 11, 04:47 AM    #
  53. People who manage to figure out how to re-code their blog so they can add messages should tell me how because I would love to be able to incorporate it onto my emirate blog.
    — Andrea    Oct 11, 04:54 AM    #
  54. People who smoke pot should not sit next to me on the train in the morning, because it makes me high and I get absolutely no work done.
    — Mark Howells    Oct 11, 05:28 AM    #
  55. People who get all excited and agitated about a typo in a piece of stationary which is in draft form, long before it is ready for print, and considering they wouldn't know how to draw a fecking square and only know a Mac as article of clothing, yet become a fecking design guru when their input has not been asked for should go away and ride themselves because I assume part of the problem they have is that nobody else will, all of which has led me to a condition where for the sake of a drink I would go to the opening of an envelope.
    — Sean    Oct 11, 05:36 AM    #
  56. People who berate the author in his comments section should stop bitching about free entertainment and go work on their own website, but they won't because they lack the talent necessary to come up with content all the time.
    — some stooge for the man.    Oct 11, 06:02 AM    #
  57. People who like someone should tell that person so because suddenly it's too late
    — Jorun    Oct 11, 06:03 AM    #
  58. People who build dams should throw themselves against concrete walls during sex because they might then empathise with salmon.
    — David    Oct 11, 06:44 AM    #
  59. People who play air guitar should avoid using the whammy bar, because your guitar will keep going out of tune.
    — wilsond    Oct 11, 06:49 AM    #
  60. People who work in monstrously hierarchical companies and make the lives of their contractors living hells should continue working in said terror-sweat reeking cubical farms because that's exactly what they deserve.
    — Mb.    Oct 11, 07:09 AM    #
  61. people who know Amber Klein should tell her to get in touch because i won't make Malaga right now. that's the sad truth.
    — kobus    Oct 11, 09:22 AM    #
  62. People who fawn over and Masturbate to the idea of living the ideal Ayn Rand inspired life should eat a Sack of my Shit because, while they think the Atlas Shrugged is the essence of creativity shunned, it's just a Worthless Fucking Novel that every single third year architectural students falls in love with, and thinks they're the only one who really Gets it.
    — Hopper    Oct 11, 10:40 AM    #
  63. People who try new features (such as this very discussion thing) on their site and then go off to bed without noticing that every single message on the front page had the question posted underneath it should rethink their readiness.
    — Dean    Oct 11, 10:49 AM    #
  64. like dogs... should find Oliver charming... the cats have already won.
    — Miriam    Oct 11, 10:53 AM    #
  65. People who criticise should experiment with gentleness, because it's hard to be perfect when your just bumbling along trying out life.
    — Ingi    Oct 11, 10:55 AM    #
  66. People who get Atlas Shrugged mixed up with The Fountainhead should be forced to re-read them because one is, in fact, much worse than the other. N.B. However, they both suck ass in copious quantities.
    — Jackie McGhee    Oct 11, 11:05 AM    #
  67. People who add a comments engine to their homebrew CMS should also allow tags like <sup> because then we can have more fun.
    — Jackie McGhee    Oct 11, 11:07 AM    #
  68. Why does textism need comments? Isn't it a somewhat egocentric way of life to have people step out of the ether and toss out commentary regarding your most idle and basically uninteresting thoughts?
    — Rob    Oct 11, 11:08 AM    #
  69. People who fart in public should not, because they are the only ones who will appreciate it.
    — A fried    Oct 11, 11:12 AM    #
  70. <sup>'s on!
    — Dean    Oct 11, 11:13 AM    #
  71. People who refuse to use directional signals should be publicly flogged, tarred and feathered , because they're assholes, that's why.
    — matt    Oct 11, 11:35 AM    #
  72. It's amazing how many morons crawl out of the woodwork when popular sites ask for feedback. I am of course excluding myself from this sweeping statement....ahem. Good work Dean, great site. Oh, here are a few characters that might cause problems: "`@#"" '' ,<>// /. *
    — Paul May    Oct 11, 11:36 AM    #
  73. People who respond so quickly to a request for a feature[1] should be give some kind of chocolate treat because chocolate is delightful. [1] See above.
    — Jackie McGhee    Oct 11, 11:39 AM    #
  74. People who post to comment forms should read the instructions, because Dean said so.
    — Paul MAy    Oct 11, 11:40 AM    #
  75. People who have nothing better to do with their time than waste it browsing sites the purport to dislike, and the associated comments, and then to cast aspersions on the quality of both the site and the comments, should die cruelly because they're hogging all the Evil [tm] and the rest of us want some, too.
    — Muraii    Oct 11, 11:46 AM    #
  76. People who pick their noses in private should be left alone because we all do it. You know you do!
    — grubi    Oct 11, 11:52 AM    #
  77. People who expect the world to revolve around their own agendas should wake up and smell the cold coffee, because their boat has sailed, their cell phone is broken, their office is locked, and I threw away the key.
    — Blake    Oct 11, 12:15 PM    #
  78. People who say 'be nice' should write a 1000 word dissertation with a stubby piece of chalk on a green chalkboard on exactly WHY one must be nice before saying 'be nice' because maybe their subsequent hand cramps and overall itchiness from the scrape-scrape on chalkboard would cause them to shut the fuck up.
    — catherine    Oct 11, 12:23 PM    #
  79. people who are bad spelllers shood be draged into the street and shot.
    — snowsuit    Oct 11, 12:33 PM    #
  80. people who are madly in love with each other should not use other people's websites as a vehicle for their mutual obsession because one day, we, and everything around us, will be a flaming ball of fire.
    — monalisa    Oct 11, 12:46 PM    #
  81. People who get self-righteous, testy, or hostile in blog comment forms should calm down, because life is too short to raise your blood pressure about the content of some idiot's blog. (This does not apply to me, of course.)
    — Beerzie    Oct 11, 12:50 PM    #
  82. People who play air guitar privately should not admit it publicly, because they're sure to regret the admission eventually.
    — J.D.    Oct 11, 01:02 PM    #
  83. People take this shit so seriously. It's amazing who will post a three sentence manifestio given the chance. These fuckers should be shackled.
    — Wanda    Oct 11, 01:18 PM    #
  84. Hey Bryan! Look at me! I'm on Textism! :-p
    — Don    Oct 11, 01:19 PM    #
  85. People who make moaning, grunting noises every 45 seconds in a poor attempt to clear their throats should lift their fat asses out of their chairs and go get a fucking glass of water, because I’m in the next cubicle and I’d like to read my morning Web sites in peace, dammit.
    — Dave    Oct 11, 01:26 PM    #
  86. People who have nothing better to do should stop by our live phtooshop tennis match today because James Baker of the WDDG is playing Darth Vader to James Hutchinson of Timehead's Luke Skywalker.
    — coudal    Oct 11, 01:45 PM    #
  87. People who can should do, because I won't.
    — SO    Oct 11, 01:49 PM    #
  88. People who would like to make me happy should send me money and material goods, because I am cheap and lazy.
    — TS    Oct 11, 01:58 PM    #
  89. People who think that people who are madly in love with each other should not use other people's websites as a vehicle for their mutual obsession because one day we and everything around us will be a flaming ball of fire are wrong because nothing is as yet a flaming ball of anything and anyway I love you missy and I don't care who does the math and besides I'm certain that Dean of all people would never care, he'd laugh and think, Cool, looks like it working.
    — Michael    Oct 11, 01:59 PM    #
  90. Peole who visit Y!H! should not troll, because I will thump them, and thump them good.
    — Fish Sauce    Oct 11, 02:04 PM    #
  91. People who can should see if they really can can, because what else can they can?
    — Wil    Oct 11, 02:21 PM    #
  92. People who run Textism should check textism.com in Omniweb because I think there's a problem. Seriously, in IE 5 in OSX, everything is fine, but in OmniWeb, which is a nice browser, your whole design is on the left instead of center.
    — dale.    Oct 11, 02:23 PM    #
  93. People who fall should get up, because otherwise they'll get all dirty.
    — mccreath    Oct 11, 02:29 PM    #
  94. Re: 92. People who run Textism are aware of rendering problems in Omniweb, but are unwilling to hack around them until Omniweb becomes a standards-compliant browser, by which time the rendering problems should disappear, because. Try Chimera: I like Chimera.
    — Dean    Oct 11, 02:39 PM    #
  95. People who have a problem with windmills in their oceanic front yards should get over themselves because windmills are pretty and its better than looking out at an oil-drilling rig.
    — Kim    Oct 11, 02:42 PM    #
  96. People are strange when you're a stranger faces get ugly when you're alone. When you're strange.
    — ollie    Oct 11, 02:49 PM    #
  97. People who include a "preview" button should test it to make sure it doesn't shitcan a visiting guest's post because that can be a little frustrating. (GYAWH~! MOTHERFUCKER! GYAHW~!@FAAAWWWK!)
    — Ollie    Oct 11, 02:50 PM    #
  98. People who don't know what a "sup" tag does should probably ask Dean but on second thought we'll just test is here because he's a busy guy and doesn't answer his email anyway.
    — Stan    Oct 11, 02:53 PM    #
  99. People who should often do not, just because.
    — Alex    Oct 11, 03:01 PM    #
  100. people who live in stone houses should not throw glass, because they may get nasty cuts.
    — semaphoria    Oct 11, 03:03 PM    #
  101. people who eat should poo, because constipation is horrid.
    — David    Oct 11, 03:09 PM    #
  102. people who don't know what sup is for should try it
    — david    Oct 11, 03:19 PM    #
  103. oh, right. As in superscript. Gotcha.
    — david    Oct 11, 03:19 PM    #
  104. People who are the 102nd commenter should get a nice bottle of some that there copious and tasty-looking wine, because they thought to beeseech the Grand Textocrat, and also because they switched to Chimera just now; and also they should say please.
    — bootsy    Oct 11, 03:21 PM    #
  105. Damn!
    — bootsy    Oct 11, 03:22 PM    #
  106. People who ask their users to fill out form fields should ensure that the tabbing order isn't completely fucked-up, because a fucked-up tabbing order makes users want to viciously murder authors to death. Also, for some reason in Win/IE5.0 I got a few screens of white space between your logo and the content. Works fine in all my other browsers, fucked-up tabbing order excepted.
    — Kev    Oct 11, 03:58 PM    #
  107. People who voted for Bush in the U.S. should feel pretty bad because he sucks.
    — Emily    Oct 11, 03:59 PM    #
  108. people who *ack* should *grrkkk* when *homina-homina-homina*.
    — jim in ohio    Oct 11, 04:31 PM    #
  109. Gak. Permalinks fixed, tab order fixed, posting works, no more popup windows (cursed accessibility tyrants), still ironing, what fun. Anyone know of browser-specific problems storing PHP arrays in cookie form?
    — Dean    Oct 11, 04:38 PM    #
  110. People who save should give because they will be spent.
    — Zoe    Oct 11, 04:56 PM    #
  111. People who write blogs should use Movabletype because all this stuff is taken care of. Or at least release their hand-rolled CMS system as open source and let the world community of geeks add copious skins and useless bloat, but the ones who used it could feel elite over the Movabletype and Blogger hordes.
    — Gary    Oct 11, 05:04 PM    #
  112. People who get laid should masturbate, because I'm lonely. Wait, what was the question?
    — Bryan    Oct 11, 06:04 PM    #
  113. People who boast of solving php submission on reload problem should post the solution so that other php hacks can read, implement and air guitar. Pretty please.
    — Jeff    Oct 11, 06:46 PM    #
  114. People who get pounded royally by a pack of high-school football jocks should be meek but happy because the kingdom of heaven is theirs (according to Jesus).
    — farthest    Oct 11, 07:23 PM    #
  115. People who eat soup should use a spoon because it is a liquid.
    — Chris    Oct 11, 07:30 PM    #
  116. People who shut-up should be heard because they are speaking their mind.
    — Web Aficionado    Oct 11, 07:32 PM    #
  117. People who dont want me to attack Iraq should go to hell, because they are all pinko commie bastards.
    — W    Oct 11, 08:35 PM    #
  118. People who don't know me, like everyone here for example, should be sending me lots of goodies right now, because that would be the decent thing to do.
    — beowulf    Oct 11, 08:40 PM    #
  119. People who are German* should not wear shorts, cos otherwise they'll look like morons. (*German or not, you'll still look like a moron.)
    — The sporked Romanian    Oct 11, 08:45 PM    #
  120. People who know me should make me get the fuck outside and off the fucking Macintosh when I get home from using a fucking Macintosh at work all day, because these people should realize spending 14 inches from a screen for 15 hours a day is a life I'm fucking tired of.
    — dmr    Oct 11, 09:49 PM    #
  121. People who "front" should "step off" because they're "wack." Know what I'm sayin?
    — flowb33    Oct 11, 10:26 PM    #
  122. People who try to escalate drama for no good reason should grow the fuck up because most people have better things to do with their time.
    — Ben    Oct 12, 01:40 AM    #
  123. people who post to textism should avoid making jokes1 about the <sup> tag, because few of said jokes are actually funny. 1'sup, man? wha's the dealie-o?
    — ari    Oct 12, 02:03 AM    #
  124. People who wait until this late in the game to add to this now rather lengthy list of postings should really not bother - especially given that it is Friday evening and all, and they must have something, anything better to do - because undoubtedly all of the truly witty, most of the half-witty, and at least some of the Conway Twitty remarks have already be made.
    — Woody    Oct 12, 03:15 AM    #
  125. i can't believe, (well, I can) how many entries are on here i have an aversion to the word should because i am a recovering cathlolic but i think you should email me
    — Johanne    Oct 12, 04:06 AM    #
  126. Dean! Only Jesus saves!
    — John Lewis    Oct 12, 05:55 AM    #
  127. Looking good. Dean, your markup is an inspiration. Really.
    — mangoduck    Oct 12, 07:31 AM    #
  128. People who post pretty pictures should do more of that, because it is good entertainment at the right price.
    — Claudio    Oct 12, 12:09 PM    #
  129. People who blog should reuse or extend existing (commenting) code, because this will save them endless frustration. ;-)
    — nils    Oct 12, 02:44 PM    #
  130. People who subvert Web comment forms should feel all warm and fuzzy inside because a doing so is rather amusing for about three seconds. People who can’t see this should go get Mozilla or some other real browser.
    — metawidget    Oct 12, 04:42 PM    #
  131. tee hee hee!
    — J    Oct 12, 05:17 PM    #
  132. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world because, people.
    — Can.    Oct 12, 05:28 PM    #
  133. People who play with code should experiment because that's how we learn. Let's see if the following 'flies'. Fingers crossed everyone... Nope....the tag didn't work. Oh well.
    —     Ray    Oct 12, 05:37 PM    #
  134. People who plug their pathetic websites www.wordiness.com should find somewhere else to blow their horns...
    — Jake    Oct 12, 06:40 PM    #
  135. People who use regexp to zap tag level css, etc.
    — Captain Sensible    Oct 12, 08:28 PM    #
  136. People who were knocked off the top ten most wanted by binladen should resonate, because they are really nearer the top of the line.
    — dug    Oct 12, 09:22 PM    #
  137. People who have well over one hundred comments and counting should maybe not have a comments features, because it's just wearing out my scroll finger.
    — Boz    Oct 12, 09:26 PM    #
  138. People who tell really bad jokes should continue because ruined anticipation followed forced laughter is funny.
    — flashgordon    Oct 12, 09:36 PM    #
  139. Soft, creamy mints in real milk chocolate...
    — W.M. Coughlan    Oct 12, 10:45 PM    #
  140. The previous obnoxiousness isn’t working anymore. It was fun while it lasted. It was a good torture test for the system -- or were we just manually rejigged? I think we’ve been punished by wiping our anchors excised as well... P.S.: People who stray from other people’s graphic design should expect to be fixed in some way because they probably would too if the situation was reversed.
    — metawidget    Oct 13, 01:43 AM    #
  141. Nope... automated. Hats off, Dean, for fending off us troublemakers. I’ll just go back to watching the Daily Oliver and using italic tags for their intended purpose now.
    — metawidget    Oct 13, 02:13 AM    #
  142. People who have nothing better to do than post this kind of banter should use the time for something more constructive, like finding a cure for cancer or building things out of popsicle sticks, because by now we'd all be disease-free and living in wooden cathedrals the size of Mount Everest. In other news, [points] that kettle is sooo black I tell ya!
    —    Oct 13, 02:55 AM    #
  143. Suggestion, maybe an unobtrusive "remember me" option so the above doesn't happen again to those of us who are used to such a thing? That would be yummy.
    — mangoduck    Oct 13, 02:58 AM    #
  144. People who helicopter pad should entry point because zoot suit.
    — hot soup girl    Oct 13, 12:33 PM    #
  145. People who pride themselves on their own high seriousness should play with babies because babies know what's really important.
    — dan    Oct 13, 01:08 PM    #
  146. People who fix previously broken posts, and change <name> tags to boot, should know they will make hapless subsequent posts look silly. And, no, I'm afraid I'm just not going to tell you why. Because I'm lazy. Aren't we all?
    — mattagen    Oct 13, 02:49 PM    #
  147. People who imagine that there are better things to do on a bleak October Sunday (what with the sky giving off real Department of Motor Vehicles-waiting-room quality light and a soggy breeze imparting a sort of malicious chill) than adding the 146th comment to this string, should rethink their reflexive use of the you really should get out more trope, because there are, in fact, days when precisely this kind of late-to-the-party, rooting-around-for-the-last-beer sort of lame participation is really a quite sensible means of struggling through an oppressive patch of midday.
    — BT    Oct 13, 03:04 PM    #
  148. People who think they can judge what number their comment will be assigned should feel foolish, because they are fools.
    — BT    Oct 13, 03:06 PM    #
  149. Can we have more tags allowed? I want to use the Q tag. And DFN. And SAMP. I need to get out more.
    — Mark    Oct 13, 05:33 PM    #
  150. People who can forget should drink, because that's what it's for.
    — mike    Oct 13, 07:34 PM    #
  151. FALLACY: People who are not Socrates should change their names to Socrates, because Socrates is all people. PHALLUSY: People who blow Socrates should change their names to Alcibiades, because they should be so lucky.
    — John H    Oct 13, 09:50 PM    #
  152. People who are not rolling stones, should not gather moss, because...where would they put it?
    — moo    Oct 14, 02:47 AM    #
  153. Write publishing engines should release them to the world, already forgoodnessakes, because I've been trying to roll my own and don't have the time to. (hint hint)
    — Karl    Oct 14, 04:33 AM    #
  154. People who open cans of worms like this should really lock them down once the reply number passes Ridiculous and starts edging into Insane. (They should also allow em and strong tags. Lord, give me some semantics!)
    — Brandon    Oct 14, 06:33 AM    #
  155. ...who see the chance to post comments anywhere should resist, because someone will have said something more worthwhile already.
    — tramp    Oct 14, 10:49 AM    #
  156. People who write stories from Ovid should learn enough Latin to read it in the original, because translations aren't good enough.
    — Larry Hammer    Oct 14, 01:19 PM    #
  157. People who NOT KNOW ENGLISH should NOT WRITE WITH ENGLISH, because DONT KNOW ENGLISH.
    — Que?    Oct 14, 03:21 PM    #
  158. People who remember should be ignored, because the past offers no purchase on the future.
    — Reginald    Oct 14, 04:10 PM    #
  159. …have sex …call me …I want sex.
    — Jesse    Oct 15, 12:37 AM    #
  160. People who read Textism should get out of the closet and admit they're fanboys, because I don't want to be the first one to do it.
    — Johan    Oct 15, 10:46 AM    #
  161. people who consider themselves witty should not post to Dean's page, because they will be crushed under the literary onslaught that is Textism. If one considered Textism.com to be a literary onslaught, of course.
    — chad chabot    Oct 15, 12:48 PM    #
  162. bathe smell me I am God
    — pig monkey    Oct 15, 05:48 PM    #
  163. people who are stupid should be culled, because it would improve the gene pool and save the nerves of the rest of us.
    — Sam    Oct 16, 03:29 AM    #
  164. barf. not cover it up with a (clean) towel. that is just putrid.
    — Erin    Oct 16, 02:17 PM    #
  165. What the hell are Mad Libs?
    — Dean    Oct 16, 03:43 PM    #
  166. Life is a Mad Lib.
    — pig monkey    Oct 17, 12:26 AM    #
  167. People who fly too close to the sun should wear flame retardant pajamas because otherwise they may suffer the fate of Icarus.
    — jack    Oct 17, 03:25 PM    #
  168. People who look for answers should give up because there aren't any.
    — Stuart    Oct 17, 07:40 PM    #
  169. Seriously, what the hell are Mad Libs?
    — Dean    Oct 17, 08:46 PM    #
  170. People who try to stand on the shoulders of others for the sake of their own glory should have their shoelaces tied together and vicious dogs released on them because everyone needs to be taught a lesson now and again.
    — Hardy Har    Oct 17, 09:01 PM    #
  171. "People who ___ should ___, because ___." is a Mad Lib. It's a word game where the player, or players, insert words into sentences. Except, the player(s) don't know the sentence; they're asked only to provide a noun, verb, phrase, wicket, etc.
    — pig monkey    Oct 18, 02:10 AM    #
  172. Comment #144 is a great example of what a mad lib might produce, that is if your sentence had specifically required three nouns.
    — mangoduck    Oct 19, 08:58 AM    #
  173. People who annoy me should just go on with their lives because odds are good they are not really doing anything wrong and my being irked is a product of my own nastiness, and if they miss those odds and really are annoying well, what are they odds they re going to change?
    — Gert    Oct 19, 01:34 PM    #
  174. People who look into a hole in a tree containing a wild bee's nest should not be surprised when the bees, because they feel threatened, sting said people on their ear.
    — Andy    Oct 20, 07:38 PM    #
  175. blog, worship onan, they love desparately.
    — Lothario    Oct 21, 06:19 PM    #
  176. People who let their dogs shit on the sidewalk should be forced to pick it up with their bare hands because it makes the rest of us looks bad. And we're not. (and I don't care if I'm #176 and more than a week after the original postings because I have a life that doesn't involved hours with my Mac. Who remembers fresh air?)
    — liisa    Oct 22, 02:16 PM    #
  177. People who don't know the meaning of a certain word should not use it in conversation, because it would make them look like a total antidote.
    — nex    Oct 28, 10:31 AM    #
  178. People who like in 106 want to "murder authors to death" should reveal in what other ways besides death a person could be murdered to because my curiosity has been piqued.
    — Dan    Nov 24, 03:07 AM    #

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