Predictions for 2003 · 1 January 2003
FEBRUARY A woman will respond to an anecdote told by her boyfriend with unexpected fury, yelling that no, it’s not ‘amazing’, it’s not even all that ‘significant’, and that no, it’s not ‘ironic’, it’s more like a ‘coincidence’.
MARCH Two office coworkers will conspicuously cease their constant flirting and suddenly avoid eye contact, leading everyone to conclude they’d had an affair and, in the words of the company president, ‘fucked it out of each other’.
JUNE In a coffee shop, a woman with a BA in English will admit her affection for J.R.R. Tolkien, causing her companion, whom she will just have met after a lengthy exchange via an online dating service, to glaze over and think about dinner, which he will consume alone.
JULY A man, his head swimming with beer, will decide that this, this right here is the best sandwich of all time.
AUGUST Two people, heading back to their offices following a presentation by the VP of Marketing, (in town for the day from head office), will smirk after one of them says, ‘What a waste of PowerPoint’.
OCTOBER A child, having his freshly skinned knees cleansed and bandaged, will respond with confused silence when his mother demands, ‘Why do you do this to me?’
DECEMBER A temp will print out an email and retype its contents into a Word document.
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