It's always been my policy to never sign in to fake Twitter.com, no matter WHAT the source, but whatever, Twitter.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
4 hours, 39 minutes agoView original
5
Q. If two half-baked people make a cake, will it come out fully baked?
A. NO! But you can bet your wasted ass it's GOING to be eaten.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
8 hours, 14 minutes agoView original
19
Lazy Bluetooth Prankster: My neighbor's phone is discoverable from my phone & MacBook. What can I do with this?
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
9 hours, 47 minutes agoView original
1
I'm gaining Steve Jobs' weight.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
10 hours, 13 minutes agoView original
11
2009 is turning out well so far: http://tr.im/gaybill
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
10 hours, 42 minutes agoView original
1
Every time a kiosk-dweller shoves a phone at me, I channel @JohnCleese's French knight: "I'm not very keen! I already got one, you see!!"
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
1 day, 3 hours agoView original
6
Can you say, "a giblet"? Is that a thing?
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
1 day, 5 hours agoView original
2
@badbanana I believe that's the Large iDron Collider, in the App Store for only 99¢! Find the Jobs boson: The particle that fires all others
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
1 day, 5 hours agoView original
5
RIP Steve Jobs
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
3
Has @Mike_FTW hacked into @Ihnatko's account? http://is.gd/evoT
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
2 days, 4 hours agoView original
1
@AmyJane Your name is @Amyjane... and you're a Twittaholic.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
2 days, 14 hours agoView original
1
NEWS FLASH: Ozzy Osbourne doesn't remember writing "Crazy Train". I know you're all shocked.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
3 days, 2 hours agoView original
6
@AmyJane @tj My favorite Mexican restaurant has 32 oz margaritas. They denied my suggestion to rename it the "Quartarita". Dummies.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
3 days, 3 hours agoView original
4
@tj Did you know you were sitting next to @amyjane?
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
3 days, 4 hours agoView original
1
@bcompton Damn. Maybe my dream will come true, and Obama will bring the 'fro back, once and for all.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
3 days, 6 hours agoView original
1
Does Steve Jobs require that instant messaging apps on the iPhone be called "iM"?
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
3 days, 12 hours agoView original
5
"It's not the cold, it's the wind" is the new "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
4 days, 9 hours agoView original
11
They say it takes someone 10,000 hours of practice to reach true mastery. Apparently I should be charging more for handjobs.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
4 days, 10 hours agoView original
16
In Russia, 2008 still writing checks on YOU!
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
4 days, 12 hours agoView original
14
It's 2009. Unassailable proof that we are living in the future.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
4 days, 23 hours agoView original
5