I can't get through a Richard Gere movie without getting the Hamster Dance song stuck in my head.
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
10 hours, 56 minutes agoView original
1
With the Bush family cat dead, who is going to make all of the big decisions?
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
17 hours, 30 minutes agoView original
1
I'm not really a pretentious jerk, I just play one on Twitter.
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
17 hours, 49 minutes agoView original
1
Dear macho coworker down the hall. No quantity of Seether and Korn can offset the amount of Fergie and HIllary Duff in your playlist.
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
20 hours, 2 minutes agoView original
2
Glad to hear Jobs using the 'I'm skinny cause I have a hormone imbalance' excuse. Fat people have been cornering that market long enough.
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
22 hours, 23 minutes agoView original
2
Beggers cant be chosers. I'm lookin' at you, Red Cross.
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
1
if you took a recording of a humpback whale and sped it up about 20x, it would sound exactly like I do in the restroom after too much cheese
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
2
For the record, Jimmy Johns does not deliver faster than 911. Ambulance driver was not amused. I don't know why he hates science.
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
3 days, 15 hours agoView original
5
About to order some amazing Thai take out, then I remebered that I live in Kearney. Jimmy Johns it is.
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
3 days, 15 hours agoView original
2
So the Zune problem is due to the leap year, huh? Hang in there guys, your Zune will be fully operational agin in 3 more years.
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
5 days, 15 hours agoView original
1
It seems that my coworkers are getting an early jump on their "Ask more stupid questions" resolution for the new year.
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
5 days, 23 hours agoView original
1
Just heard that a new year will be here later today. Good thing I remembered to put on clean underwear.
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
6 days, 1 hour agoView original
1
I say a lot of mean things about my coworkers. I would like to take a minute and say something nice. "Thanks for not being Zombies, guys."
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
6 days, 16 hours agoView original
1
Twitter rules #367 - Never follow the 'real' version of anyone, without also following the fake. In most cases just the fake.
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
6 days, 19 hours agoView original
1
Dear Bears - I would consider Johnson a person of interest.
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
1 week, 1 day agoView original
1
Dear Green Bay - Don't ruin the dream for me. I want to see the Lions run the table in reverse. It's all you.
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
1 week, 1 day agoView original
1
Her - "Wow, you smell nice today!" Me - "Are you saying that I normally stink?" Her - "NO! I just... you see..." -My coworkers love me.
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
1 week, 5 days agoView original
1
Take heart, Bears fans. Remember, you still have the Cubs!
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
1
Pay me a million $'s and Ill play football in 0* temp in nothing but a banana hammock. I'd do it for free but, you know *strike 3* and all.
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
1
I wonder if this cold weather has anything to do with all the Palin jokes we made. Wicked witch of the north?
Wallaceh (Wallace) from Kearney Nebraska
1