I had to take away my cat's cell phone because she was making too many cat-calls.
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
7 hours, 45 minutes agoView original
23
I can't convince the boys I'm 22 in this classroom's awful fluorescent lighting. Candlelight would be more flattering.
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
10 hours, 17 minutes agoView original
7
Pretty sure I'm older than my professor. Hoping I can resist the strong urge to call him "Sport".
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
11 hours, 13 minutes agoView original
24
I start back @ school tomorrow. Getting too old for this. Might quit the sorority this year. Just kidding! I love frat parties way too much!
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
1 day, 7 hours agoView original
5
My focus in 2009 is on becoming a turnip expert. You never know where turnips might turn up- you always have to be prepared. Expertly.
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
1 day, 14 hours agoView original
15
No, no- these are people I'm *following*! I lose *followers* all the time. (People HATE when I talk about cookies!)
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
1 day, 17 hours agoView original
2
Alright seriously- why do people keep randomly dropping off my "following" list? Anyone else having this problem? Bad twitter!
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
1 day, 18 hours agoView original
1
Had I continued reading the package past "Peanut Butter" I would've seen the words "Dog Biscuits" directly below. (Not that bad though.)
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
1 day, 18 hours agoView original
33
He had these little ornaments on his station and I told him I "liked his balls". Charming, I know. Cute boys make me nervous.
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
2 days, 15 hours agoView original
16
@phyllisstein He played someone's boyfriend for 1 season. He will now be playing the role of my new boyfriend. Pretty sure he loves me.
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
2 days, 16 hours agoView original
3
I just had my hair cut by one of the actors from 7th Heaven. I've never seen the show, so this fact is sorta lost on me. Cute though!
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
2 days, 16 hours agoView original
5
@missamymac What's your point? Sounds like a typical Friday night to me. Then once I'm good & drunk, I go downtown & make out w/ some hobos.
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
3 days, 12 hours agoView original
5
@pagecrusher "Balls" is funnier. Balls are ALWAYS funnier than "boughs".
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
3 days, 12 hours agoView original
1
Three Legged Cowboy is the best name for a gay bar EVER. Bring on the rhinestone cowboys!
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
3 days, 16 hours agoView original
16
1st new year's resolution down the drain already.
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
5 days, 5 hours agoView original
2
Just felt my stomach- thought I was finally getting that six pack I've been working towards, but it was just my Spanx riding up.
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
5 days, 5 hours agoView original
15
I'm either kissing no one or everyone here at midnight. I haven't decided yet. Another martini ought to do it.
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
5 days, 7 hours agoView original
11
Dear 2008,
It is SO over between us. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Love, Me
P.S.- Suck it.
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
5 days, 19 hours agoView original
26
Playing Old Maid w/ a 4-yr old.
4-yr old: "The Old Maid looks like you."
Me: :-(
Her: "But you're wearing the same shirt."
She's right.
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
6 days, 18 hours agoView original
20
Um, 'scuse me, but I definitely know how to please a man- I've watched a lot of Matlock in my day.
crispycracka from Atlanta, GA
1 week, 1 day agoView original
11