If January 1st predicts how the rest of the year will be, my 2009 will be all hangovers, headaches and regret. Great coffee, though.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
4 days, 22 hours agoView original
4
Massive number of Zunes freezed last night? I call bullshit; everyone knows there's no such thing as a "massive number" of Zunes.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
5 days, 21 hours agoView original
34
We may have gained an extra second this year, but I just watched two hours of Death Race, so I lose.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
10
Pick any two: (A) Adobe (B) Lightweight (C) Real
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
6 days, 15 hours agoView original
3
I've stopped worrying when my wife, who frequently talks in her sleep, tells me to go fuck myself, even when she's asleep.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
6 days, 23 hours agoView original
6
@krgaskins Bacon is meat, yes. Jumped shark meat.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
1
New rule: It's not clever anymore, so unless you're discussing 17th c. philosophers or prolific acting careers, stop talking about Bacon.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
13
The sexual tension between Professor Wiseman and the Man in the Yellow Hat is palpable. Yep, Curious George is getting a new mommy soon.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
1 week, 1 day agoView original
6
I fear I may start to show up as a separate slice on our local beer company's pie charts.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
1 week, 1 day agoView original
25
A friend tells me it's -3˚F where he lives. The ˚F stands for "FUCKING DEGREES."
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
14
Twitter is over Capacity.
Twitter drunk-dials Capacity and makes an ass of himself on voice mail.
Twitter is not really over Capacity.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
2 weeks, 1 day agoView original
45
Look, I'll save you some time: ME, in the CUBICLE, with FLATULENCE. Mystery solved.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
2 weeks, 3 days agoView original
31
Christmas in Puerto Rico is a bit different, so instead of Santa Claus, I saw mommy kissing the Three Kings, which scarred me forever.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
2 weeks, 4 days agoView original
6
Just saw a guy opening his liquor bar. At 8AM. Is this another sign of social decadence? Or have I finally found someone who *gets* me?
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
2 weeks, 5 days agoView original
18
All right guys, "twool" is now in Urban Dictionary: http://twurl.nl/vbakxd
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
2 weeks, 6 days agoView original
1
"Cox says SEC staff failed to probe Madoff"
Well done, mr. headline writer, well done.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
2 weeks, 6 days agoView original
2
My suggestion for Bob Dylan after that awful endorsement of the gas-guzzling Cadillac Escalade: go electric.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
2 weeks, 6 days agoView original
4
Went to get my prescription filled, but since I didn't have enough money, the pharmacist gave me a non-brand substitute. #generictweet
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
2 weeks, 6 days agoView original
5
OK car wash employees, I know I don't come here often and that my car is REALLY dirty, but the "Jaws" reenactment was simply unnecessary.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
10
I gather from your tweets that it's cold in various parts of the US. I understand completely; I'm almost freezing here at 80˚. #dick
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
4