This is embarrassing. All day I've been wearing my trench coat and repeatedly checking my pockets in observation of Columbo Day.
superfantastic from Texas. No, really.
64
Funny prank idea: The Always Positive Home Pregnancy Test. Like those candles you can't blow out no matter how much you cry and curse God.
fireland (Joshua Green Allen) from Denver
54
I might be using this pedometer the wrong way but it appears that in my street alone there are 147 pedophiles.
ttseco (Theo Tsecouras) from Athens, Greece
52
Liver, you rock. You handled those flaming shots like a pro. Eyebrows, why can't you be more like Liver?
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
40
Intimacy is when I tell you that I can't orgasm without a finger in my ass. Oversharing is when *you* tell *me* that you feel sad.
nick (Nick Douglas) from Russia with love
37
The song "Bette Davis Eyes" makes me wish for Marlee Matlin ears.
AinsleyofAttack (Ainsley Drew) from Portland, Oregon
35
Hi, I'm admin for a group called Go Fuck Yourself, and I'd love for you to go fuck yourself!
nostrich from University of Sussex
32
Be REALLY careful manscaping.
Found out the hard way that
CVS does NOT carry Band-Aids for penises
even if you show them the cut.
awryone (Josh Donoghue) from Connecticut
32
Also, remember Jesus H. Christ? That's right, the H stands for Hussein. Jesus Hussein Christ. How do you like that, John?
Kalli (Karl Hussein Gunnars) from Falun, Sweden
31
To the other kids who won popularity contests at my high school.
SUCK IT.
Now I'm fake-liked by a small group of people on the internet.
thedayhascome (Josh Hopkins) from Indianapolis, IN
30
If you're suspicious Obama might "secretly" be Muslim, and relieved Palin is a creationist, the debates were never really for you, anyway.
27
A poacher got busted with six lobsters stuffed down his pants. Remember the good old days when you only had to worry about crabs?
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
23
Geraldo might have gotten hit in the nose with a chair, but Bill O'Reilly deserves to take a full dinette set to the face.
AinsleyofAttack (Ainsley Drew) from Portland, Oregon
24
Forecast for tonight: Heavy insomnia & scattered thoughts w/only partial lucidity. Low around 3am. Mon: Unproductive w/a chance of hostility
phillygirl from Las américas
23
Republicans are forwarding e-mails saying God sent Palin to save the U.S. Maybe the Old Testament God. And then only as a cautionary plague.
nictate from Los Angeles, CA
24
I assure you madame, my putting bros before hoes is strictly an alphabetical sorting.
rstevens from not within the halls of academ
