Where's my glue gun?? You guys, it's only a week till Thanksgiving and my Jordache short shorts aren't going to fucking bedazzle themselves.
fireland (Joshua Green Allen) from Denver
51
The service dog in front of me is in a vest that says "Please ask to pet me". Oddly enough, I wear the same thing on first dates.
gordonshumway from Slappytown
47
It would really suck to be the guy who discovers Live Strong bracelets cause cancer.
nictate (nictate hussein) from Los Angeles, CA
41
You know who else loved using derivative instruments to distort the real capital market and overleverage national debt? Hitler.
hotdogsladies from 94116
40
"I only did it for the publicity" may turn out to be this generation's "I was just following orders."
hotdogsladies from SF
39
Flirting via text message would be a lot sexier if my texting skills weren't on par with those of a drunk lolcat.
zolora (Theresa) from NY (not NYC)
39
As my foot clumsily slipped from the step and I began to tumble down the staircase, I thought to myself, "I haven't updated twitter today."
thedayhascome (Josh Hopkins) from Indianapolis, IN
37
Nothing on change.gov yet about my proposed legislation to require background checks and a 7-day waiting period to purchase bike shorts.
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
35
This morning's episode of "Which Shirt Can Pass For Clean?" has devolved into "Which Stain Looks Most Like It Could Be From Breakfast?".
toldorknown (Rod Knowlton) from Smack dab in the middle
35
No matter how bad your day gets, just remember you are not as bad off as the guy who was buying roses at a gas station at 7am.
abigvictory (Michele Catalano) from long island
35
I suspect that the CNN.com editorial staff consists of a precocious 12-year-old boy, a litter of Dalmatian puppies, and perhaps a coat rack.
hotdogsladies from SF
35
The Adobe Installer is like Peter North; there's a long build up then it sprays junk all over your drive.
SeoulBrother (SeoulHusseinBrother) from Tacoma
32
_Helvetica_ is an engrossing bio of a cultural icon that also helps document why so many people dislike talky designers in $900 eyeglasses.
hotdogsladies from SF
33
If your name is Orville Redenbacher, you really only have 2 choices: sell popcorn, or make a wager to travel the globe in a blimp.
aedison (Avery Edison) from Southampton, UK
32
Dear Girl With Ugg Boots, Leggings & Sunglasses the Size of a Welder's Mask: I'll just follow you to the LA gate. You're not going to Omaha
gordonshumway from Slappytown
