There is a slow-cooker recipe I want to try, but I fear that the crated dogs would chew off their own legs as the aroma filled the house.
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
11 hours, 56 minutes agoView original
6
When I see "Sent from my iPhone", I append "and I am a gigantic pretentious douche".
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
12 hours, 33 minutes agoView original
12
You'll know someone has phished my account if my updates don't bore you to death.
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
15 hours, 20 minutes agoView original
7
I think gaining 80 pounds to qualify for lap-band surgery is a quicker route to the 20 pounds I want to lose. And much more delicious.
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
17 hours, 18 minutes agoView original
29
ABC and animal toy: I'll go along if you say there is something called an X-Ray Fish, but I'm calling bullshit on the sound you say it makes
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
19 hours, 7 minutes agoView original
7
I think it's the bitter darkness in my soul that keeps my follower count below 200.
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
3 days, 14 hours agoView original
2
The main reason I don't want to be dependent on others is that other people aren't very dependable.
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
3 days, 17 hours agoView original
12
According to coworkers, there are better things to do at midnight on New Year's Eve than cry b/c your new phone doesn't support Java apps.
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
3 days, 17 hours agoView original
7
Just realized after 5 yrs of marriage that my last name now rhymes with Bolton, as in Michael. Is the name-changing office open on NYE?
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
5 days, 15 hours agoView original
2
The correlation coefficient of daycare workers complaining about working on NYE and calls to come get your "sick" kid approaches 1.
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
5 days, 16 hours agoView original
7
If Emerson doesn't take her first steps by midnight tonight, I'm gonna consider the whole year of 2008 pretty much a failure.
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
5 days, 18 hours agoView original
4
@tdavenport That was so cheery, I might have to unfollow you.
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
5 days, 18 hours agoView original
2
If you're outgoing and curious enough to ask what the "Meh." on my t-shirt means, you're probably not going to understand it all that much.
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
6 days, 12 hours agoView original
8
Working on writing a script that sends a "No thanks, I'm washing my hair that day" response to all invitations received via Facebook.
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
6 days, 14 hours agoView original
9
Dear Limbic System: A tiger is not chasing us today. Dial it back a little, please.
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
9
Another name for my phone's "Offline Mode" is "Aren't you so cute for having hope that your phone might work after the washing machine mode"
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
2
At family get-togethers, we can never get a good photo of all of us. My brother's eyes are always closed, and I always need to lose 30 lbs.
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
1 week, 1 day agoView original
13
Answer: "1". Question: How many minutes were left on the washing machine's 72 minute cycle before I realized I left my phone in my jeans?
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
1 week, 3 days agoView original
11
@frageelay Twitter: Helping husbands and wives passive-aggressively argue in public since 2006.
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
1 week, 3 days agoView original
3
Today has both a Mon feel and a Fri feel to it. Kinda like when my youngest stepson told me long ago that I was like a sister *and* a mom.
EntropyAS (A. Shankle-Knowlton) from Tulsa, OK
1 week, 3 days agoView original
2