Lazy Twitter: When I plug in my iPhone is it recharging the phone or adding power back to the grid?
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
10 hours, 57 minutes agoView original
6
Lazy Twitter: Is my iPhone vibrating because I have an incoming call, or because it can tell when your legs are tired?
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
11 hours, 14 minutes agoView original
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Lazy Twitter: When entangled in my iPhone's warm embrace, is it appropriate to use one finger or two?
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
11 hours, 26 minutes agoView original
5
Lazy Twitter: Can my iPhone hold me at night?
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
11 hours, 35 minutes agoView original
14
I'm thinking of starting an internet will.
Who want's my spam? Preferably someone with a small penis or a need for a luxury watch.
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
11 hours, 46 minutes agoView original
10
Turtleneck friction is not a joke, people. Rub any Apple nerd long enough and see what happens to their hormones.
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
13 hours, 1 minute agoView original
3
@CcSteff My wife sent me one of those before. Did you know Outlook doesn't have any time increments less than 15 minutes? Made me look good.
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
13 hours, 11 minutes agoView original
7
My account didn't get hacked, but some guy keeps DM-ing me about buying a fucking camera.
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
15 hours, 7 minutes agoView original
12
I just spoke with Britney Spear's vagina and although it looked angry, it assured me her account has not been compromised.
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
15 hours, 19 minutes agoView original
15
Whoever hacked into @THE_REAL_SHAQ 's account could use a spell check or two.
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
15 hours, 29 minutes agoView original
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I just saw a Hillary Duff PSA that informed me that the Fox News Twitter account hack was not, in fact, funny. Think Before You Speak. #TMYK
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
15 hours, 50 minutes agoView original
2
Here's the FOX News/Bill O. phished screen shot, in case they take it down: http://tinyurl.com/yppsoc
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
15 hours, 53 minutes agoView original
2
@shortyawards I recommend @RoaldDahl in the Shorty Award category #authors_that_need_the_letter_n_in_their_name because, well, look at it.
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
17 hours, 25 minutes agoView original
4
Made a Lil' Wayne pot reference and I now have 420 followers. The Carter be thy name.
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
17 hours, 37 minutes agoView original
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I hope Lil' Wayne's record label doesn't find out about his fondness for marijuana. That could be a deal breaker.
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
18 hours, 6 minutes agoView original
9
I pondered so hard on the way to work. Even Peter Gabriel couldn't figure out which song to sing for my subconscious.
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
19 hours, 27 minutes agoView original
9
@AmyJane Throw it out? I almost burned it in effigy.
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
2 days, 2 hours agoView original
3
@lindstifa My eyes are so heavy my left one is trying to drag my right one out of the bar.
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
2 days, 3 hours agoView original
2
RT "I think that if we could understand why sad songs made us feel better, we’d be close enough to shake hands with the meaning of life."
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
2 days, 3 hours agoView original
2
I am so drunk that all of you people are still up.
InsoOutso (J Thornburg) from Columbus, OH
2 days, 3 hours agoView original
12