. . . and as quickly as she came, @MISSY_BOO is again gone from our lives. Just keep droppin' it like it's hot, baby girl. AS USUALLY.
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
4 hours, 21 minutes agoView original
2
Oh @MISSY_BOO, I've been waiting months for your return. Welcome back to Twitter, girlfriend!
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
5 hours, 6 minutes agoView original
1
@printartist I'm jealous of you, because I'm guessing that "afterglow" is NOT one of the beauty products you picked up at Sephora today.
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
6 hours, 18 minutes agoView original
3
@missamymac Fuck ALL of them. I was directed to Bea Arthur's breasts six times today. And three of those times were unintentional.
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
6 hours, 42 minutes agoView original
2
@expat_erin Now you're just taunting us. Next, you're going to say you work at a salon or something and never go a day without a pedicure.
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
7 hours, 20 minutes agoView original
1
Fuck it. I'm bringing bacon-wrapped scallops to the vegan potluck. I will be their Meat Queen.
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
8 hours, 34 minutes agoView original
11
I'm going to a vegan potluck and just learned that the recipe I'm making calls for bacon fat! Hmm,...vomiting anemics, or grateful converts?
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
8 hours, 59 minutes agoView original
9
@krabigail Wait -- does this mean that Bruce Springsteen is a bottom? I totally took him for a top.
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
12 hours, 17 minutes agoView original
1
"What's that, best friend? Your dad just received Quip pics of my breast bruises?" Huh. Maybe you two shouldn't go by the same first name.
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
1 day, 5 hours agoView original
10
@PlannedBrohood Oh! You live at the AIDS hospice. Alrighty, then.
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
1 day, 11 hours agoView original
1
I'm taking a Twitter break, everyone. I'm going to Seattle to make sure @fedge is eating properly and isn't overindulging in online porn.
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
1 day, 12 hours agoView original
2
Careful, @sloganeerist. I suspect that @weselec plans to systematically take out my Twitter crushes. @bsheepies has been sick for months.
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
2 days, 2 hours agoView original
1
I hope you all know that I'm really disappointed with those of you that are Tweeting about trip - WOW YOU GUYS @AprilSTL's AVATAR IS FAR OUT
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
2 days, 3 hours agoView original
2
@sloganeerist Oh my God, I know that smell! Grammy?? Are you with us right now? Follow the Light, Grammy, . . . follow the Light!
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
2 days, 4 hours agoView original
1
@sloganeerist He just tried to pinch my butt. And he called my boobs Thunder Domes. I feel violated.
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
2 days, 7 hours agoView original
2
@franconachapman I'm sorry, but I'm the Twitter crush to some very high-maintenance Tweeters already.
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
2 days, 7 hours agoView original
1
Great. The weird co-worker who puts psalms in my office mailbox found me on Facebook. It's time for The Beaver Chronicles to go underground.
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
2 days, 9 hours agoView original
3
@califmom Wait -- does dickfast involve fasting from dicks? Is it some sort of punishment for eating off-schedule?
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
2 days, 10 hours agoView original
1
To treat my pain, I've begun a course of bacon-wrapped scallops and margaritas. Followed by Klonopins for any bacon regret-related anxiety.
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
2 days, 12 hours agoView original
10
@gordonshumway Does the Rapture involve a lot of confetti? Neat!
Jessabelle207 (Jessica) from Portland, Maine
2 days, 15 hours agoView original
2