My head is pounding from falling off the wagon last night.
If I ever host another hayride, I gotta put some safety railing on that thing.
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
4 days, 9 hours agoView original
14
This year I've decided not to make a new year's revolution.
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
4 days, 19 hours agoView original
10
I always forget. Do I have to do something special with the clocks or does it just become a new year automatically?
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
5 days, 6 hours agoView original
40
Oh, my God I totally forgot about the STOCKINGS!
Hold on...
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
1 week, 4 days agoView original
3
I tried to stay up, but I just got so sleepy. Plus, it's a total crap shoot anyway. I mean, there's like thirty chimneys in this place.
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
1 week, 4 days agoView original
34
I'm dead serious, I'm already up to Expert on Steve Miller's "The Joker."
Jeb can't even get past "Livin' On a Prayer."
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
1 week, 4 days agoView original
18
I'm just saying. No one's here, the doors are all locked, and secret service is everywhere. So you're telling me three cookies just vanish?
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
1 week, 4 days agoView original
33
Oh, I don't know. I always thought Shoe was pretty heady, myself. Andy Capp. That was the one that never made sense to me.
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
1 week, 6 days agoView original
10
This is the first Christmas in like forever, where I am totally ahead on all my shopping.
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
1 week, 6 days agoView original
13
The steamroom gets crowded on Sundays. Just take a fiver for Pepe the attendant and tell him, "No quiero con Señor Carl." He'll know.
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
2 weeks, 1 day agoView original
13
Everybody was chanting "Throw it back! Throw it back!"
I guess I just got caught up in the moment.
Crap. I bet they'd be worth a fortune.
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
29
No, no, there is no attic. There's a basement, but I don't think it's been cleaned out since Harding. Actually, that reminds me of a joke.
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
3 weeks, 3 days agoView original
10
Well, she can deal with it then. I'm sorry if it sounds bitchy or whatever, but I'm just being honest. "I make cakes" is not a job.
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
3 weeks, 3 days agoView original
9
@FakeLameBush That's real mature.
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
1
They quit letting me shoot skeet. Didn't want any tourists getting accidentally killed. Please. You wanna see how government works or not?
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
12
The worst jobs report in history! The Labor Department is so bogus. I think that guy just hates me. He gives me a bad grade every time.
LameBush from Washington, D.C.
6