Gmail Easter Egg!! Pick the 'tea party' theme then select every message whose subject starts with a T and click 'spam'. OMG, sooooo good.
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
17 hours, 15 minutes agoView original
8
According to the new Gladwell Math I'm now an expert in both drunk-dialing AND sobbing.
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
19 hours, 52 minutes agoView original
6
Every once in a while I get nostalgic for what the web looked like in 1999. So I visit Salon.
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
1 day, 9 hours agoView original
17
Holy shit! A hooker just showed up with flowers! I am LOVING Socialism!
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
2 days, 11 hours agoView original
11
What's got 2 thumbs and just registered pornandsorrow.com?!? THIS guy. (Please send naked and sobbing self-portraits.)
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
2 days, 17 hours agoView original
9
I had nothing to do with this: http://is.gd/7TfD
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
3 days, 12 hours agoView original
1
Thanks for the concern everybody, but the little guy was pretty defenseless and I was never in any danger. Now what to do with the carcass?
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
4 days, 18 hours agoView original
2
Just beat to death a possum I found trapped in the bathroom. What a mess.
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
4 days, 18 hours agoView original
8
RIP Gene Wilder
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
5 days, 9 hours agoView original
1
I wish people would automagically stop saying 'automagically'.
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
5
Twitterrank ZERO!! Twitterrank ZERO!!! Oh wait... wrong @hotdogsladies joke.
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
1 week, 1 day agoView original
6
Oh sweet. Twitter now pulls in your latest Flickr photo as your background. Nice.
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
1 week, 1 day agoView original
2
My therapist said I needed to make a slight adjustment along the pussy and asshole axis. I said that taint right.
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
1 week, 1 day agoView original
12
The 'favorite choice' button on my microwave DOES NOT WORK, and I have the bruise to prove it.
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
1 week, 2 days agoView original
3
George Bush is SOOO not getting his deposit back.
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
1 week, 3 days agoView original
13
It takes me about 7 minutes in the Apple store to never want to buy anything from them again. Apple smug + SF smug = unfuckingbearable.
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
1 week, 3 days agoView original
3
God, I hate the Apple store.
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
1 week, 3 days agoView original
2
You think Chris Wallace and Hank Williams, Jr. ever get together and talk about what massive downgrades they are to their gene pools?
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
1 week, 4 days agoView original
12
@cleversimon True fact: In France, a lubed-up asshole is called and "old Polanski". It's true.
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
1 week, 6 days agoView original
1
Gah! That last tweet should have said "assholes'" not "asshole's" since we're talking about multiple assholes being possessed. So retentive.
Mike_FTW (President Monteiro) from under John McCain's podium.
1 week, 6 days agoView original
4