Discountito is the new UFC Alarm Service. His karate chop to the nuts is 110% guaranteed to wake you up. Internal bleeding costs extra.
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
19 hours, 1 minute agoView original
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Going back to work is so hard I'm taking the week off.
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
20 hours, 16 minutes agoView original
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So, seriously, folks. Who's going to MWSF? I'm thinking of heading up on Thurs. All-day drinking may ensue.
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
1 day, 7 hours agoView original
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@abigvictory Farting in front of spouse. Isn't that called "Dutch lovin'"?
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
1 day, 19 hours agoView original
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Btw @kariedwards let's move the wedding up to Macworld. You can design and print out the invitations on the NeXT. Oh sweet nextrimony.
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
2 days, 6 hours agoView original
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While you guys were talking about phish, I was having sushi. Phresh phish.
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
2 days, 8 hours agoView original
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@badbanana This rap star was lucky he only lost fifty cent.
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
2 days, 8 hours agoView original
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O sweet sugar doughnuts, I love you long time.
(No euphemisms were used in the manufacture of this tweet.)
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
2 days, 12 hours agoView original
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Just got a 35+pg catalog from at&t pushing its communication services. at&t, I think it's time we brought you up to the current century.
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
2 days, 15 hours agoView original
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At the Favrd booth, when your number comes up, you get your picture taken with the stern silent rooster.
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
2 days, 17 hours agoView original
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At the Favrd booth, you'd shout What's hot today? And all the people milling about would line up by how many faves they got.
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
2 days, 18 hours agoView original
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Will there be a Favrd booth at Macworld?
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
2 days, 18 hours agoView original
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Final movie in Kevin Bacon's Madoff trilogy will be a horrifying report on the condition of Bacon's bank account: "Hollow, Man."
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
2 days, 18 hours agoView original
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Second movie in Kevin Bacon's Madoff trilogy: Quickpilfer.
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
2 days, 19 hours agoView original
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Glowing lemon slice of moon hovers over the chilly Pacific. God, I've missed you.
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
3 days, 4 hours agoView original
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To recoup his losses from the Maddof Ponzi scheme, Kevin Bacon will release a movie capitalizing on an oft-rumored asset of his: Footlong.
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
3 days, 7 hours agoView original
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As ridiculous as Bowl games are getting, I'd definitely watch the Kellogg's Cereal Bowl, Kool-Aid Punch Bowl, and Tidy-Kleen Toilet Bowl.
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
3 days, 7 hours agoView original
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I bet Kevin Bacon wished he were more than six degrees separated from Bernie Madoff.
SenorDiscount from Cali-4-nigh-yay!
3 days, 7 hours agoView original
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Forget the Snuggie. I invented the Juggie, the blanket which allows two appendages which are not arms to move freely. Happy new year, guys!
SenorDiscount from Swiss Alps
4 days, 9 hours agoView original
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@kariedwards Ha. I thought that said Male Beverage. Malt. Malt.
SenorDiscount from Swiss Alps
6 days, 13 hours agoView original
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