Jonah thinks that when his stomach grumbles that it means he's hungry, even if he doesn't want to eat. He is a slave to his tummy grumbles.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
9 hours, 41 minutes agoView original
2
Either someone keeps refilling the Halloween candy bucket, or it was built on an indian burial ground.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
10 hours, 1 minute agoView original
21
Marking the time.... now. My mother is officially done with her Christmas shopping, and the gloating has begun.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
10 hours, 8 minutes agoView original
2
No class tomorrow. Gonna go see the new Bond film. Unless your name is @ricetopher, in which case I am studying for @ricetopher's exam.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
10 hours, 31 minutes agoView original
3
Watching Hidalgo. They are really building the tension here--I'm no longer looking forward to the conclusary Viggo-horse anger-fuck scene.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
11 hours, 44 minutes agoView original
1
@thewesterly Not in the reboot. Actually his new name is SMOGTRONIC SIX THOUSAND AND TWO.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
18 hours, 9 minutes agoView original
1
Looking forward to the Hollywood reboot of The Hobbit where Bilbo is played by 50 Cent and Smog is a killer robot voiced by Chris Walken.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
18 hours, 25 minutes agoView original
5
I'm just saying, the next time I sent Plouffe $100 it'll be because he's going to dress up as Optimus Prime for my son's birthday party.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
18 hours, 50 minutes agoView original
12
I can't wait for Plouffe to send me an email hitting me up for $100 to cover the cost of the White House Christmas Party.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
19 hours, 9 minutes agoView original
6
@Moltz What? You? No! I thought you were a precocious six year old.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
19 hours, 24 minutes agoView original
1
I know I was only 3 when it happened, but I still feel like a douche for having to look up @moltz's Al Haig reference.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
19 hours, 30 minutes agoView original
2
My short story gets workshopped this afternoon. I am going to ask for $25B to fix it.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
21 hours, 29 minutes agoView original
10
@kellydeal Why thank you. Real friends on Twitter are annoying because they're all "pay me my money" & "I'll kill you where's my money." :(
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
1 day, 9 hours agoView original
12
The new Guns N Roses album is old enough to get its own MySpace account.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
11
My mouse wheel is broken: it only goes down. Because it is very old and its mechanism is clogged with Cheetos dust. Just Like your mom. BURN
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
1 day, 16 hours agoView original
21
If we didn't have more heat vents than cats, we'd freeze to death.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
1 day, 17 hours agoView original
13
Relationships are all about compromise. For example, my iPhone crashes a lot, but it has to be seen with me in public.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
1 day, 17 hours agoView original
10
I ditched twitter this AM to read something printed on real paper and I might skip my 4hr wikipedia block to play with my kid. I feel weird.
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
1 day, 18 hours agoView original
13
How cheap would a Chevrolet Avalanche have to get before you'd be willing to buy one? We might all get to find out soon!
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
2 days, 9 hours agoView original
3
Every time the boy yells out "Help! My poop won't come out!" I give myself a high-five for marrying a nurse. "Mommy's coming, boy!"
bcompton (Ben Compton) from Lexington, KY
2 days, 9 hours agoView original
34