20 minutes into Kung Fu Panda my 2yo daughter gives me a surprisingly strong kick in the gut. Did you know Pepto-Bismol comes in caplets?
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
11 hours, 2 minutes agoView original
7
@Moltz Plenty of jokes left. Consider the implications of the Chinese Democracy release on Duke Nukem Forever, or The Day the Clown Cried.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
20 hours, 26 minutes agoView original
1
Does the world exist?
Do I exist?
Does it matter?
(overwhelmed by the philosophical implications of listening to Chinese Democracy)
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
21 hours, 13 minutes agoView original
5
"I'm registering the domain at Godaddy. I'm doing the checkout process now."
And that's the last we heard of him, officer.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
2 days, 21 hours agoView original
18
Wife: How was getting drunk at this "tweetup" different from what you do EVERY weekend?
Me: Well, I didn't pee on anybody. Not on purpose.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
3 days, 21 hours agoView original
11
Coworker: I know this is a surprising first, but I find nothing bad to say about you. Excuse me while I remove the beam from my eye.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
6 days, 20 hours agoView original
7
Holy crap! @ylnt with @hotdogsladies, @scottsimpson, @lonelysandwich, @jonathancoulton and @Hodgman? The Twitter Justice League is born!
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
6 days, 20 hours agoView original
10
Premium Prime Rib Sizzlin' Breakfast Fajitas? Oh Denny's, if only I could stomach your food sober.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
6
It is time. Obama needs to come out and declare where he stands on the Top Chef fauxhawk embargo.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
4
Hendrix drummer Mitch Mitchell died. Sad. Thanks for the music, Mitch, and for always showing me what a crappy drummer I really am. R.I.P.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
3
Isn't it fitting that Chinese Democracy will be available in LP format? I mean, that's what we were all using when Axl started recording it.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
5
@rafamejia Yeah, you can see the look of despair on the director's face each time they launch into the Indiana Jones theme song *yet again*.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
1 week, 1 day agoView original
1
You want an indicator of how bad the economy is? It's John Williams tribute night at the Symphony. Again.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
1 week, 1 day agoView original
6
At first I didn't like the archeological excavation site, but then I started digging it.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
1 week, 2 days agoView original
22
Hadn't seen the new Knight Rider until now. Wow, it IS bad. Hasselhoff must be spinning in his grave.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
1 week, 3 days agoView original
9
Did you know that in hospitals, the opiates cabinet has an alarm that goes off if you try to steal some? Funny, me neither.
On to plan B.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
1 week, 6 days agoView original
19
@Tony_D How do you organize your books? Chronological? Alphabetical? or... autobiographical?
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
2
I like your Core2 3GB DDR2 250GB 15.4" LCD DVDRW Vista SP1 PC, but after 4 months of use, you really should peel off the features sticker.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
13
Michael Crichton, you will be missed. May you rest in peace and forgive those responsible for the movie version of Congo.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
2 weeks, 1 day agoView original
6
Between the cat litter box and the daughter's diaper changes I realize that I'm dealing with too much poop, and I haven't even voted yet.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
2 weeks, 2 days agoView original
3