Some days, the web feels like 5 people trying to make something; 5k people turning it into a list; and 500MM people saying, "FAIL."
(Merlin Mann)
10
My comedy underwear is now my regular underwear
from Los Angeles, CA
3
Some songs just should never, ever have a dance re-mix.
Springsteen's "The River" is at the top of that list.
I'm closing GarageBand now.
(Tony Delgrosso) from iPhone: 43.143890,-77.598633
3
Wife is going on a trip for a few days.
Mom called a few minutes ago and asked if wife "got off OK."
Damn near bit off the end of my tongue.
(TJ)
4
I don't trust men who smell of old-spice cologne. Except for my father, but I'm becoming suspicious of him too.
(Josh Hopkins) from Indianapolis, Indiana
3
Saw a Facebook group: "Josh Got Us Pregnant in High School, and We're Bringing His Kids to the Reunion".
So, I should just skip it, right?
(Josh Donoghue) from Connecticut
10
You know what pisses me off the most about Taco Bell's "Fourthmeal"? Somebody actually got *paid* to come up with that name.
(Adam S.) from Chicago Suburbs, IL
3
Experimenting with a "Morning Zoo" format. A morning petting zoo. A morning heavy petting zoo.
(You Look Nice Today) from California
4
It's important to keep things clean, because germs are everywhere. And because if you don't, your family will die in a horrible accident.
(Avery Edison) from Southampton, UK
3
I can create and print my own little sign to put on my cubicle. Can't think of anything that would not end in me losing my job.
from Richmond, VA
3
Fuck you, Monday.
(Nicole D.) from Rock-chester, NY, USA
5
2 nuns ride their bikes a new way in to town. One says to the other, "We never came that way before."
"It must have been the cobblestones."
(Smart as Shat) from Boldly Going Nowhere
9
Look Hollywood, I don't care how much your crappy action movie blows. If you put a pale brunette with tall boots in it, you've got my $12.
(Tony Delgrosso) from iPhone: 43.143890,-77.598633
3
Saw The Dark Knight last night. And the Red Knight, and the Old Pot-Bellied Knight. C'mon, this is England. This shit is normal.
(Drew McLellan) from Maidenhead, UK
4
If you tell publishers they're really in the community business, they'll say "shut up, hippy" and go back to monetizing their audience.
(Derek Powazek) from San Francisco
3
I miss squishy baby and funny toddler, but my 8 yr-old has been reading Brittanicas in the car since 7am. This is the perfect age.
(Emily) from Louisville, Kentucky
4
Cute barista caught me staring at her today. Would have been less awkward if I hadn't been outside her house, carving her name into my arm.
from United Kingdom
19
Folks, a car bomb is not a nightcap.
(Erik Price) from New York City
3
17 dead in a bombing in Istanbul, not Constantinople.
Been a long time gone, Constantinople.
Why did Constantinople get the works?
Too soon?
(Josh Donoghue) from Connecticut
5
Bob Novak's hit & run. Lindsay Lohan hit by a motorcycle. Shia LaBeouf's DUI accident. Wow! These things really do come in threes!
(Smart as Shat) from Boldly Going Nowhere
3